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April 05, 2002-9:18 p.m. It�s been quite a day in Sa-land today, y�all! First of all, I am bitterly disappointed at the somewhat lackluster response to my enticing fundraiser! I really, really thought that I had come up with a sure-fire winner! So, I came home from work a little down-in-the-dumps. My parents are off at one of their swap meets. I go over to their house to drop off their mail and get the dogs� bowls to take back over to my place and I look up and there is a cow in the yard! I may have mentioned before that my parents and I live on the same property in a decidedly rural area but in separate domiciles. We have a fenced off area that includes a couple of ponds and a creek and some acreage. One of our neighbors leases this land for their cows. This is not their cow. This cow belongs to a group of trespassing cows that have been on our property for a few weeks and have been known to jump the fence and end up in our yard. Daddy thought he had solved this problem by mending the solar-powered electric fence but apparently this particular cow found its way around it. He has drafted a letter to the owner of the errant cows demanding that they remove their cattle from our property but hasn�t delivered it to them as yet. I may also have mentioned that I am decidedly not a country girl. I love living in the country but I was raised in the city and I don�t have the first clue about agriculture or animal husbandry. I can, however, fire a pistol, drive a tractor, and bait my own hook, but I digress. I tried chasing after this cow on foot to no avail. I tried to enlist the help of my faithful hound and precious baby, Buster�seen here looking particularly ferocious!
Buster was not much help at all in this endeavor; in fact, I�d go so far as to say he was a downright hindrance. He kept sending the cow in the exact opposite direction I wanted it to go. After running back and forth, hither and yon for about half an hour, I remembered my mom saying that a neighbor had chased a cow back in the gate with their car one day so I decided to get my truck and try chasing the cow that way. I drove the truck over to where the cow was grazing and it took off running so I steered it toward the gate. This cow evidently has a mind of its own and decided that would be a good time to try and jump the fence. Bad idea, cow! The cow got its hind legs tangled in the fence. It was thrashing about and sparks were flying from the electric fence. Sa was freaking out and panicking! I got back in the truck and drove across the road to the home of Darrell the Squirrel Hunter! I breathlessly described my dilemma and Darrell agreed to come help me out. He grabbed his beer and followed me back over to my place, with one of his friends in tow, by which time the goddamned cow had extricated itself! I sheepishly thanked Darrell and his friend, whose name I still don�t know, although I now know that he has coffee at the general store with Daddy every morning! Side Note: My mom refers to the guys that have coffee at the general store each morning as �The Spit and Whittle Crew.� She also told me that Daddy�s new haircut makes him look like a �gork.� Stay Tuned for future chapters of Sa�s Bovine Adventures! **Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.** |
