March 27, 2002-11:03 p.m.

Look!

Two entries on the same day!

Trucker�s Daughter Update

In their infinite wisdom and somewhat convoluted logic, the insurance company has decided that it would be a simply fabulous idea to have the trucker�s daughter help out with the training classes.

Don�t ask.

I have no idea how they arrived at this decision.

Basically she will be spending half of her day with the training class and the other half at her desk in our team. If there had been another available desk in the training room, then she would have made that her permanent seating arrangement. I suspect that a conscious decision was made not to have a desk available there.

According to the trucker�s daughter, the training staff requested her presence. I can�t imagine that anyone who has spent more than five minutes with that woman would freely decide to entrap him or herself in a training room with her for four hours a day. I also wonder at the wisdom of putting a person who cannot remember the simplest details of claims processing, judging from the number of moronic questions she asks in the course of a day, in charge of training people to pay claims.

In the interest of presenting a fair assessment of her *skills* I have carefully compiled the following list.

Things the trucker�s daughter is qualified to teach others:

  1. Wal-Mart sale-rack chic.

  2. White trash coiffure, i.e. 5 inch roots on the highlights, shaggy ponytails, banana clip usage.

  3. Sonic sneezes that have sled dogs on the North Pole pricking up their ears.

  4. Prolonged loud yawns that end on an abrupt yelping high note.

  5. Offensive and less than politically correct comments rendered at the top of her lungs, usually interrupting conversations in which she was uninvited.

  6. Use of the word *shit* and the phrase *butt-load*. �I got a whole butt-load of this shit.�

  7. The infamous double negative. �I ain�t never�

  8. A variation of the above: the use of *no* in lieu of *any*. �I don�t got no paperclips.�

  9. Serial pet ownership followed almost immediately by pet disownership.

  10. How to make your alcoholic ex-con, ex-spouse your new common-law husband.

Lest you think there is no silver lining to this tornadic storm cloud, this does mean that I will have to endure the unique torture that is the trucker�s daughter for less time each day!

That�s right!

It�s all about me!

Aliquot Out!

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**Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.**

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