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February 06, 2002-9:04 p.m. The snow�s all melted now. I really, really wanted a snow day today but unfortunately the gods had other plans for me. I had an uneventful drive in to work. No slipping and sliding. No obnoxious yuppies in giant SUVs careening full tilt into ditches. *Curses* Very disappointing indeed. Today I had to attend a training class devoted to the one area at work in which I am an expert. We are expected to complete forty hours a year of training and this was one of those classes. The person who has of late been teaching these classes reminds me of an Anime character. She is very tall and thin and ghostly pale. Her hair is dyed an unflattering shade of maroon and the nicest thing I can think of to say about her wardrobe is that it is bohemian. I call her Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon also speaks in a barely audible voice with a distinct timbre. She sounds sort of like a kid trying to sound like an old lady and she says stuff like, �This is a really nifty tool that I�ve found for calculating rates.� She�s also extremely patronizing and condescending. The entire time I was sitting in last week�s class I could hear the theme from �Sesame Street� playing in my head. SM: �Let�s check out another really keen resource we have available to us on the web!� In Sa�s head: ��sunny days, everything�s A-OK. . . .� *Sa tries to think of impressive ways to commit suicide and end this torture once and for all.* Today�s class was marginally more interesting because I was familiar with the subject matter. The thing I most remember learning in today�s class was that Sailor Moon laughes like this: �Heh. Heh. Heh.� No exaggeration. She wasn�t even doing it sarcastically. That�s her laugh. �Heh. Heh. Heh.� Of course, everytime she did this, we all burst out laughing. When the class was over and we were walking back to our desks--- Chorus: �Heh. Heh. Heh.� *Entire group thinks to look around to make sure we aren�t being followed by Sailor Moon as we brazenly mock her laughter* Also today, in a perfect illustration of do as I say reasoning, we received a memo reminding us of the company policies relating to usage of the internet and email at work. We were urged in this memo to keep in mind that we represented our employer when we surfed the net and sent out email and we wouldn�t want to do anything to tarnish the company�s image or represent it in an unflattering light. Later we received, from the secretary of our director and supervisor of the administrative staff, no less, the following email:
Business Causal Dress will apply. I was frankly embarrassed for the company just reading it. **Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.** |
