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January 25, 2005-5:30 a.m. I got a call from Larry last night. He had been at his sister's house for dinner and now he was depressed. After pressing him a little, he admitted that while he was there dining with his sister and brother, he had mentioned the fact that he had recently changed his will. Keep in mind this isn't something that I pressed for--it was something Larry and his lawyer decided to do after he evicted the roommate. I guess they figured the chances of him meeting an untimely death were greater at that point. So after explaining to them that he had changed the will to make his wife (Sa)the beneficiary, they launched into a heated argument. Them: "Is Sa going to take care of you when you are sick or is it going to be us?" Larry: "Sa will." Them: "Is she going to wipe your ass when you are too sick to or are we going to have to?" Larry: "Sa will take care of me when I get sick." Them: "You are leaving her the proceeds from your $50,000 life insurance policy?! $50,000 is an awful lot for a friend!" Never mind that the only reason he has that life insurance policy is that we got it through my job and they don't ask about his health. Them: "We're your family and we aren't getting ANYTHING?! You are giving Sa the big screen TV and the sub-zero refrigerator?! You know people change once someone dies." Larry: "Believe me, Sa won't. Sa doesn't care about any of that and can't I give my stuff to my wife when I die?" The Sister: "That marriage is a sham! It's not a REAL marriage!" The Brother: "I could have that marriage annulled based on the fact that it has never been consumated." Can you say "Jerry Springer"? Both of these people are older than Larry--closer to 50 than to 20 and his brother is a grocery stocker and his sister hasn't had a real job in almost ten years. They act like someone snatched the pot of gold out from under them after they'd spent a lifetime chasing the rainbow. They were even arguing about the pots and pans and we aren't talking Williams Sonoma cookware here. I've had to promise to let them have the TV and the refrigerator and the non-stick cookware. I'm wondering, though, if for some reason they never have to wipe his ass if the deal still holds. **Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.** |
