October 13, 2004-5:15 a.m.
I talked to my nephew Monday. He had spent the weekend with his dad for the first time in a long time and he had gone alone instead of with his brother.
Aunt Sa: "How was your weekend at Dad's?"
Dah-veed: "It was okay except for Junior's friend. He uses bad grammar."
Guess that one wasn't switched at birth!
Dah-veed = Junior Grammar Nazi!
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Ooh! A contest!
Larry has taken in a roommate. It hasn't even been a week and I can't see it lasting much longer. If anyone would like to get in on the Roommate Demise Pool, simply sign the guestbook with your estimated roommate departure date.
The guy needed a place to stay so Larry offered to let him stay at his house and get back on his feet. Here is a partial list of the kind and generous things Larry has done in his new capcity as landlord.
- He drew up a contract and had the guy sign it saying that he agreed to the rent (exorbitant, in my opinion) and that he would help out around the house and keep it clean.
- He contacted the phone company and had long distance service removed from his phone so the roommate couldn't make any $$$ calls.
- He gave him a couch out of his office at work to sleep on but the guy didn't have any sheets so Larry loaned him some of his sheets but not before impressing upon him how nice they are---high thread count, extra soft--and admonishing him not to mess them up.
- He gave him a similar lecture on the quality of the pots and pans, the cutlery and the dinnerware.
- He told me on Sunday when he was here, "I know it'll cost me some money but I am seriously thinking about having a timer put on that shower."
- He said he thought he woke up in heaven Sunday morning because every light in the house was on. Sa countered with "It couldn't have been heaven. I wasn't there."
- He left the instruction manuals out for the lawnmower and the weed eater in case the tennant might want to read them to know how to operate them. Come on now! You're both men! You don't need no stinking directions!
- When Larry left here Sunday afternoon after helping with the tile and being offended because I said one piece looked like he had cut it with a tomahawk and brow beat the guy into helping clean the house so that they could "start out on a clean slate." Mind you Larry admitted (to me anyway) that he hadn't vacumned in about 3 months before Sunday.
As a result of all of the above, I am certain that the roomate will leave before the first week is out or I will be collecting on Larry's life insurance as a result of the tennant having killed him.
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**Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.**
