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May 14, 2002-6:03 a.m. Warning: Extreme Rantage Ahead! My sister is dating a black man. This is not an issue for me as long as he is good to her, he could be from Neptune for all I care. They are apparently in love and talking about moving in together and eventually getting married. Again, no biggie for me. There was a little trepidation about introducing him to the family and how he might be taken. She formally introduced him at the birthday party of one of her sons. She wasn�t going to say anything and just sort of spring him on the family but I persuaded her that some people might feel ambushed and she should at least let them know before they got there so if they had a problem they could decline the invitation. My parents were out of town that weekend so they didn�t attend the birthday party. A few weeks ago, she took him and his children to a public place where she knew my parents were and introduced him to them. I steeled myself for the inevitable backlash that I expected to hear once they got home. Surprisingly enough, there was none. Daddy said he found my sister�s boyfriend to be pleasant and nice and not at all the stereotypical black man, whatever that is. ~Huge sigh of relief for everyone~ Sunday, when my sister came to pick up the son she had left with me on Saturday, she brought her boyfriend and his children with her. Another of my sisters and her family were here, as well. The men and the kids went down to the pond to fish and my dad evidently spent some time with the boyfriend. Everyone leaves, Sunday evening passes without incident, Sa is lulled into false sense of security. Monday before dinner, Daddy tells my mom and me that he has this issue and he thinks he�s made a decision but that he needs help from the two of us. ~Sa and Mom squirm~ He him-haws around getting to the meat of the issue *irritates the shit out of me, if you have something to say�say it* which is that he doesn�t approve of my sister dating the black man. He feels like it is unfair to the kids and that if it were fifty years from now and the times were different *and he was dead* it might be okay and he thinks he should tell them how he feels. Sa�s Ma: �Just tell us instead� Sa�s Pa: �I just don�t think it�s right� Sa: �You don�t get to decide� Sa�s Pa: �I still think I should let them know how I feel� Sa�s Ma: ~in a stunning display of assertiveness~ �Okay, but you make sure that you tell them that that�s YOU. I don�t have an opinion.� Daddy goes on talking about how he�s not a racist, how the boyfriend is really nice and he likes him as a person, blah, blah, blah, while me and my mom ignore him in silence. It�s obvious, I think, that we both think he�s wrong. Mom points out that my sister is 34 years old and can do whatever she wants. Meanwhile, I�m stewing because he has once again thrown his trump card, �It�s not fair to the kids.� It is my opinion that he only says this because he feels it will move us to his side of the room. What gets me the most is that he thinks that because he doesn�t approve of something, we are all supposed to stop dead in our tracks. He expects everyone to sacrifice their happiness and whatever else may be associated, because he�s not happy with their decision. How do you get to be that arrogant? When do you realize that the earth doesn�t revolve around you? When is it going to dawn on you that your kids are grown and your sphere of influence is no longer very large? Sign me: Pissed, Disgusted and Frustrated **Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.** |
