|
2001-06-04-9:03 p.m. Last week I applied for a job at the company where my sister works. I spent a goodly part of the week imagining how this job change would represent a new start for me and would come to symbolize the changes that I am trying to make at this point in my life. I imagined new co-workers � people who possessed vocabularies. I envisioned adequate paychecks and new clothes. In this scenario, I exuded self-confidence and charisma. I was so witty and entertaining � everyone loved me. I anxiously and obsessively checked my messages at least once an hour waiting for word as to when this magical transformation would take place. I finally talked to my sister, here almost a week later and found out that they had hired a temp who started today. I was disappointed, of course, but I also realized that I really didn�t need that job in order to make a new start and it probably would not have turned out to be the Holy Grail I had fantasized. It�s really more of a mindset, starting over, than it is an actual change of scenery and I�m making a pretty good effort at that with this diary. I�m intent upon nurturing myself artistically. I�ve neglected that part of myself recently and I�m not all that pleased with the results. Truth be told, I was probably way overdue for a reality check and a realignment of my priorities. **Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.** |
