July 06, 2002-5:06 p.m.
Several months ago, my assistant and I were discussing the fact that her teenaged daughter was working as a line judge for soccer matches. When I was in high school, I had done the same thing and it reminded me of a guy I knew through that activity but hadn�t spoken to in years.
This guy has a fairly unique name so, on a lark, I put his name into Google to see what it might come up with. There was a surprising bit of information identifying him as a collector of quotes and also as a skydiver. I got an email address from one of these sites and decided to contact him.
I remember that he was a fairly sharp guy in high school and had attended Texas A & M, I believe majoring in engineering. Also, in some of the stuff that I read, it mentioned that he had a management position at a high-profile silicone valley company. I thought it might be fun to find out what he was up to these days and maybe have an intellectual email buddy.
I sent this email:
High School Guy,
It's me, Sa.
I'm not sure you'll remember me but the last time we spoke was when you were in college. The last thing I think you said to me was "Grow up!" I'm still working on that, by the way.
One of my friends at work said that her daughter is a line judge for soccer games and that reminded me of you.
Being the Googling fool that I am, I looked you up.
You're a quote-collecting skydiver these days, eh?
When I Googled my name, I found out that there is evidently some minor-league porn star with the same name.
I finally graduated from college in 1996, after abandoning my burgeoning career as a bartender/part-time business student.
I am the proud possessor of a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree with an emphasis in Sculpture and Metals.
I forged, welded, cast and soldered for the better part of three years and now for the last five years, I've worked in the somewhat related field of health insurance.
Go figure!
Sa
Light. Newsy. Whatever.
A few days later he responds with this:
Sa:
Remember....yes?.....although with my advancing age.....memories from 25-30 years ago do have a tendancy to fade. For example, there is absolutely zero chance I could remember any specific thing somebody else said that long ago....but the "Grow up" comment sounds about right. I recall doing my dead level best at being the biggest jerk possible. Probably explains my exile from Texas. Since graduating, not only have I never been back to any kind of HS/College reunion, I have kept in touch with absolutely nobody from school. It just seemed easier at some point to just leave the state and start over elsewhere.
Yep....spent a number of years in the early days of the internet collecting and distributing quotations as a hobby.....also spent about 20 years skydiving....just recently gave that up after being on the world record 282 way in Thailand for the King's birthday.
That's about it with me!
High School Guy :)
/"
/ ASCII ribbon campaign
X against HTML mail
/ and postings - est. June 1998
Okay. I�m not exactly thrilled with all of the dots. The inability to spell tendency or use spellcheck is troubling, and *EW* the emoticon! Plus, what the hell is that crap on the bottom there?
I figure I�ll cut him a little slack so I respond with:
High School Guy,
That's not a very convincing yes.
Then you had to go and make me feel old(er) with that 25-30 years comment.
I remember all kinds of things without even trying. People are always asking me how in the world I remember all of this stuff. If I knew, I'd travel the country, holding seminars like Suze Orman and making the big bucks.
Were any sort of prizes or trophies awarded for your work in the biggest jerk category? Maybe something that would look good on your resume?
Believe me, you missed nothing by not attending school reunions. I went to the 10th and saw enough ill-fitting suits and polyester slacks to last me a lifetime; not to mention the women who looked like they might have trotted that prom dress out for one more go-around.
I came to the internet fairly recently. I didn't even get a computer until 1999. Almost a year ago, I started writing an online diary and as a result of that experience and wanting to spice up my page, I bought a book and taught myself HTML. In July, last year, I launched (check out my savvy use of the action verbs, here) my website. I've been sort of tinkering with it off and on ever since. I'm trying to learn DHTML and Javascript (using the previously successful "Book-in-the-lap to Computer: Trial and Error Method") but I haven't had much time for it lately.
It wasn't your advanced age that caused you to retire from skydiving was it? I see 90 year old men on "Inside Edition" jumping out of planes all of the time.
I checked out some pictures of that Thailand gig. Were the formations you made supposed to be symbolic? It had a sort of mandala quality to it.
That's probably enough of my yammering!
Sa
No response to that one. No big deal.
Maybe a week later a friend of mine whose truck is maroon is talking about what other person would buy a maroon truck and my answer was �Aggies.� The Texas A & M colors are maroon and white and the students are known as Aggies. Aggie alumni have a penchant for maroon vehicles, usually adorned with an Aggie Alumni sticker of some sort. In Texas, Aggie jokes are of the same derision as Polish jokes elsewhere.
This reminded me again of High School Guy so I sent him another email:
High School Guy,
I must know if you drive a maroon vehicle with some sort of Aggie sticker on the back glass.
Sa
He responded:
Well....as I mentioned in my previous email, I cut all ties with Texas, HS, College, "friends", and all things from that misspent portion of my life.
So....no....I have nothing maroon and own no Aggie stickers....on my car or otherwise. Pretty simple....pretty clean.
High School Guy
Ooh. I don�t think I like your tone.
If you ask me, you�re still in jerk mode despite the change of geography. Maybe there are more jerks in California so, relatively speaking, you don�t seem like such a jerk.
I reply:
Dude,
Ease up on the ellipses, would you?
You might want to look at that discretionary use of quotations, too.
You don't make those quotation marks in the air while you're talking, too, do you?
You seem a bit testy.
Maybe you should take vitamins or get more sunshine.
Or just not respond, at all, to inane questions posed by people you knew a million years ago!
Sa
Geez. I don�t guess I�ll be trying that again!
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**Disclaimer: All characters in this diary are fictional. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, real or imagined, is purely coincidental and unintentional.**
